Today's deep thoughts: Hunting and Changing

From Chapter Three ("Five Best Ways to Hunt for a Job") of the book What Color Is Your Parachute? 2010 by Richard N. Bolles.

The Seven Most Important Truths to Remember So Long as You're Unemployed

1. Job-hunting is an activity that repeats itself over and over again, in most people's lives.

2. Job-hunting is not a science; it is an art.

3. Job-hunting is always mysterious.

4. There is no always wrong way to hunt for a job or to change careers.

5. There is no always right way to hunt for a job or to change careers.

6. Mastering the job-hunt this time, and for the rest of your life, done right is a lot of hard work and takes some hard thinking.

7. Job hunting always depends on some amount of luck.

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Today's deep thoughts: Oranges and such

From Phase Five ("Live a Happy Life") of Amy Spencer's book Meeting Your Half-Orange, which I like to apply to my life in general:

. . . Leslie credits her big move--trying a different key--for putting her in a new mindset. "Just the moving itself gave me a sense of control," she says. "Like, Hey, I did this. Me. My choice. Now, I unpack." And, she says, once you get on the path of making a big move or a big change, you get better at taking control of your life. You no longer worry how it looks to other people or whether others think it's logical or whether it makes financial sense. Once you make that first leap, it makes it easier to keep going on that path and try even more new things . . .

[ . . . ]

If you think you might need a change as big as Leslie's, just be prepared for some similar personal fallout. "People get weird when they think you're doing something off the map," says Leslie. "A lot of people didn't understand my choice. But they only saw the sweet exterior--they didn't know the sadness I was feeling. You have to be prepared for people who will not be supportive, and do what you need to do for yourself."

So how do know if a change in necessary for you? Focus on the feeling you're reaching for. Rather than jumping up and making a huge change right off the bat, give yourself a few weeks or months of focusing on what you want from a change: a new lease on life? Excitement when you wake up in the morning? Feeling like you're jumping off the hamster wheel? Go ahead, make a huge leap, as long as you doing it for you . . .

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Today's deep thoughts: Winning Friends, etc.

From the chapter "Making People Glad to Do What You Want" in the book How to Win Friends & Influence People, by Dale Carnegie.

The effective leader should keep the following guidelines in mind when it is necessary to change attitudes or behavior:

1. Be sincere. Do not promise anything that you cannot deliver. Forget about the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the other person.


2. Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do.


3. Be empathetic. Ask yourself what it is the other person really wants.


4. Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest.


5. Match those benefits to the other person's wants.


6. When you make you request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit.
   

[ . . . ]

People are more likely to do what you would like them to do when you use . . .

PRINCIPLE 9

Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

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Today's deep thoughts: Perfectly Nice Girls

From Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office, by Lois P. Frankel, Ph.D. I've read this book at least three times now. I have also given it as a gift, and I got my own copy signed by the author, who is a fellow USC alum.

Mistake 44

Striving for Perfection

Having been made to believe we're totally flawed, imperfect beings, women overcompensate by striving for perfection. Intellectually we know it's impossible, but emotionally we go there every time we feel insecure or less than competent. What a waste of time and energy! We would be much better off using the time we spend perfecting already good work products or relationships on new and creative endeavors.

[ . . . ]

COACHING TIPS

• Consciously reduce the amount of time you work on any given day or spend on any one piece of work.
  


• Strive for 80 percent perfection. The difference between 80 percent and 100 percent won't be noticed by most people but will buy you more time to shift to other important tasks.


• Relinquish the need to be seen as perfect and settle for being viewed as human. After all, you are a human being, not a human doing.

Like many other deep thoughts I post, this is an example of my giving very good advice, but like Alice, I very seldom follow it. I doubt I will ever get my perfectionism under control. But you readers should!

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Today's deep thoughts: Rockfish wisdom

From Only One You, by Linda Kranz, a colorful book that was give to me by one of my colorful friends for my business school graduation. Thank you, friend!

If you make a wrong turn, circle back.

If something gets in your way, move around it.

[ . . . ]

There's only one you in this great big world. Make it a better place.

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Today's deep thoughts: Winnie-the-Pooh

From the "That Sort of Bear" chapter of The Tao of Pooh, by Benjamin Hoff:

In the sixty-seventh chapter of the Tao Te Ching, Lao-tse named it as his "first treasure," and then wrote, "From caring comes courage." We might add that from it also comes wisdom. It's rather significant, we think, that those who have no compassion have no wisdom. Knowledge, yes: cleverness, maybe; wisdom, no. A clever mind is not a heart. Knowledge doesn't really care. Wisdom does.

[ . . . ]

Do you want to be really happy? You can begin by being appreciative of who you are and what you've got. Do you want to be really miserable? You can begin by being discontented. As Lao-tse wrote, "A tree as big around as you can reach statrs with a small seed; a thousand-mile journey starts with one step." Wisdom, Happiness, and Courage are not waiting somewhere out beyond sight at the end of a straight line; they're part of a continuous cycle that begins right here. They're not only the ending, but the beginning as well. The more it snows, the more it goes, the more it goes on snowing.

Today's deep thoughts

From the "Be Interesting" chapter of Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi and Tahl Raz:

3. Know yourself and your talents.

I had no chance competing with the science geeks at ICI. In developing an expertise that highlighted my strengths, I was able to overcome my weaknesses. The trick is not to work obsessively on the skills and talents you lack, but to focus and cultivate your strengths so that your weaknesses matter less. I'd apply the 80/20 rule in that you should spend some time getting better at your weaknesses but really focus on building your strengths.

Or, as I like to tell people, ride your horse in the direction it's going.

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One great big vicious circle

From an episode of Famous, Rich and Homeless on Planet Green:

(A police officer has declared that James and his equally homeless friend Drax are too "able" to qualify for a shelter because they have been homeless for so long. Meaning, if they had become homeless recently, they would be at a higher level of vulnerability, which would have qualified them for a shelter.)

Annabel Croft: Do not give up hope, James. We've done one step, yes?

Drax: If I take another step, I'll probably fall or something. (Laughter)

Annabel: Well, we have done one step.

Annabel narrating to the camera: It's an eye-opener, isn't it? It's frustrating. They're so beaten down by what they've come up against with all the brick walls that they really can't be bothered. And I can now see why they also sit around the street and get into a sozzled state so they can put all the pain behind them. It's one great big vicious circle.

I'd love to sit around in a sozzled state, repressing the pain of being beaten down by brick walls, my soul crushed by continual rejection. But my drive for success prevents me from doing so.

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Someday I will drive around my neighborhood with my daughter

Chevrolet does not allow embedding of their commercial (why? I don't know.), so I have linked to it here: Chevy Traverse - Father and Daughter.

Yet the company does allow embedding of their Dependable Friend commercial, which I also like:

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